What therapy has taught me

And why you might need it much more than you think.

Hello my friend,

I have been a hypocrite.

I posted a couple of days ago on LinkedIn about doing therapy.

The truth is that I put off sharing it for some time.

Worried about exactly how it would be perceived or how the reaction may be.

It was something personal, for me, and it wasn’t my "normal” type of post.

I then realised I was being a hypocrite to the very thing I’m trying to encourage.

A stigma I’m trying to break.

Since the start of this year I’ve had regular therapy sessions.

Quite frankly they have been one of the best investments I’ve ever made.

But, wait, what’s wrong Nick?

This is a common question many have and it ties in to why I didn’t write or post about it before.

The honest answer to this question is…

Absolutely nothing was wrong.

Quite the contrary actually.

I was feeling strong and well.

That I had all my shit together.

Or so it seemed to me…

Why I started was down to pure curiosity to learn more about myself.

I started it from a place of strength, not weakness.

This is where many people still have it backwards.

I started out of wanting to understand and learn about me more.

I wanted to look at my mind and get a better understanding of how it works.

Then as the sessions went on I started digging into things from my past.

Areas of my life that I’d actually been ignoring or refusing to knowledge.

Many that I had no idea 100% affect who I am, and how I am today.

That get in my way and continue to hurt me.

What I’ve learned is this.

We all know we should exercise so we won’t have health problems in the future.

We all know we should see a physio to overcome or prevent injuries down the line.

We all know we should eat well so we are not forced to later.

Yet when it comes to strengthening our mind we see it differently.

Therapy does just that.

But I also kind of get the stigma and resistance.

My mum recently contacted the NHS in the UK to enquire about therapy.

The first question she was asked?

Ok, and what’s the problem exactly?

This isn’t right.

There shouldn’t need to be “a problem” to start.

This is why we have the stigma and a lack of vulnerability in the very first place.

What even is a problem anyway? How do we define one exactly?

Is there a list of acceptable ones?

Come on, lets do better.

Personally my only regret is that I didn’t start therapy sooner.

It’s my other gym. One for my mind.

Therapy has taught me and given me plenty.

I’ve uncovered and discovered things I would never have known, and without the guidance of a therapist would never have had the courage to admit and to work on.

So if you are struggling with something or are having a hard time I would highly recommend it.

However, and which is the case for many, if things seem fine and like you’ve got everything under control I would also absolutely recommend it.

Like I myself thought before, if you don’t think you need it then you may need it a lot more than you think.

It’s time we finally put an end to demonising or avoiding doing some therapy.

To put to bed that it means something is wrong or that something is wrong with us.

This is completely false.

It is a tool to strengthen us, not to fix something that is broken.

I stand for openly having the conversation around therapy like we talk about anything else.

As a man, I see this is especially rare.

Showing vulnerability is a true sign of strength and character.

I once didn't fully believe this.

I now believe it with every part of me.

Therapy at worst will present you with a ton of information and insights you weren’t aware of.

Therapy at best will unlock a completely different version of yourself.

Either way you’ll only gain.

And so will all those around you.

The more you think you don’t need it the more you likely do.

Thanks for reading.

With love, Nick x