Fear, Thinking & Why Problems are Our Friend
Hello my friend,
“I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.” - Mark Twain
Fear is a funny thing, isn’t it?
Whenever I reflect on my own story and choices I think of how much influence it has played in my own life.
Many decisions for much of my life I didn’t consider or take.
Because I felt some level of fear.
I vividly remember reading my first book around this topic called Taming Tigers. It was a gift from a business owner and former boss.
Perhaps he saw deeper behind my eyes and could see how I was putting limitations on myself. Or failing to stretch them whatsoever.
I would often avoid change for the thought of it being too hard, too difficult or that I would look stupid.
This was my Tiger roaring.
Characteristically so sat the time I left the book aside pretending that other things deserved more attention that reading it.
The actual thought of learning how to do something better and knowing that I could achieve it scared me.
For the fact that deep down I knew I would then do nothing about it and therefore feel more guilt about not doing whatever it was.
Odd juxtaposition, right?
I think many people actually do (or don’t do in this case) this.
It’s far easier and more comfortable to ignore better information and knowledge.
That way we have another good excuse not to take action.
Because we were unaware all along.
I digress.
When I finally got around to reading the book it shifted my entire way of thinking around the topic of fear.
I was giving it far too much respect.
Fear is just an emotion like any other.
It has a purpose until it doesn’t.
If a bear is chasing us then it’s absolutely required.
But for most things in relation to doing them, it really isn’t that necessary.
Fear is a bit like skydiving.
I did a skydive several years ago.
The thought of it was terrifying.
Everything that led up to the skydive and to the point of jumping petrified me.
The moment I signed up.
The whole week before the jump.
The two hour drive to the skydiving centre.
The brief with the pilot and instructor.
The long walk across the airfield to the plane.
The entire flight up to 12,000 feet above ground.
The waiting above the clouds.
The shuffle towards the door of the plane.
The 3,2,1…
The fear was suffocating.
But then I jumped.
And in that moment everything changed.
It was pure exhilaration.
Sheer joy and aliveness.
Bliss.
Every ounce of fear dissipated instantly.
It wasn’t the thing itself that was scary.
No. It was everything leading up to making the decision to jump.
So much of life is like this.
We suffer through fear of making choices. Yet once we actually do the thing the fear disappears.
Like an invisible ceiling that hangs over us until we punch through.
The things that are most meaningful and that bring us the most purpose, fulfillment and joy all sit on the other side of fear.
Feel it and do it anyway.
This can be applied in every area.
The thought of change or doing something is always scarier than the doing of it itself.
We can take the action despite the feeling of fear.
Then see what happens to it.
Then see what happens to us.
Working with me
If you are looking to improve your health, well-being or your public speaking skills I can help you through my personal and tailored coaching. Please reach out here for a conversation.
Things I’m learning
Teaching children.
“One of the best things you can do for kids is prepare them for failure. No, not that failure is a bad thing. But that it is inevitable. That it's normal to fall short. That failing at something doesn't mean anything about you as a person. That it's okay.” - Steve Magness
We look so hard that we see so little.
“The mind does most of its best thinking when we aren't there. The answers are there in the morning.” - Alain de Botton
Good problems to have.
“Your biggest problem is you think you shouldn’t have them. ‘Cause problems are what make us grow. Problems are what sculpt our soul. Problems are what make us become more.” - Tony Robbins
Question
If fear didn’t exist what is the first thing you would do?
That’s all for this week.
Thank you for reading and see you next time.
With Love. Nick. x
p.s. ‘Running Minds’ is back again this Saturday. If you are in Madrid we would love to have you! Thank you those who came for our first meeting last week.