Tear up the to-do list.

It will never end.

One problem that gets crossed off will quickly produce another.

More post-it notes than you could count.

We like to be in control of our lives.

We also like to feel like we are making progress. Constantly. More feels more.

We wake up with a sense of “productivity debt,” as writer Oliver Burkeman points out. Feeling we need to do X amount of things throughout the day just to earn that day.

To then feel good enough about ourselves.

So we create endless to-do lists of various tasks, most of them being of little or no importance to us, or anyone else for that matter.

I have been doing this very thing a lot recently.

Going through an uncertain period, I have started trying to regain control over everything.

Lacking an ability to switch off, I have been hurrying around first thing each morning trying to get an endless amount of (mostly pointless) tasks done. Of course, I pretend to myself that indeed they are all important things.

I create endless tasks before ruthlessly chasing them. Believing a false narrative that they will equip me with a true sense of productivity and make me feel I’m making real progress.

Deeper down, It create a sense that I am taking back full control of life.

Back in the driving seat and feeling better about myself.

Spoiler alert: it doesn’t work.

It’s all an illusion. It just makes things worse.

The list, alongside the anxiety, gets bigger.

Here is the irony.

Contrary to what we think is common sense, it is in the letting go of the “to-do” list (or indeed not creating one at all) that often brings the best outcomes.

Not only this, but we actually do have permission to relax fully whilst all the “problems” remain around us.

We soon see that nothing bad happens.

Despite our brains very much believing the opposite.

It’s difficult to put this into practice at first. Our mind screams how lazy, or unproductive, or downright incompetent we are. But then something else happens.

Things become clearer.

We learn what tasks actually matter, and all of the many that really do not. Then we often end up working better on those “actually mattering” tasks.

We learn that nearly everything we were trying to tick off the list has absolutely no influence or importance on our life.

We will be absolutely fine without doing any of them.

This is not to say we should ignore all our problems or tasks, and it definitely doesn’t mean avoiding our responsibilities. Some stuff will need to be done.

For us, for our friends, for our boss.

It’s just to say we shouldn’t be dominated or constantly clouded by an endless list of things we feel we must do. Or indeed create for ourselves in the very first place.

When we let go, it frees up time and resources to focus on those things that are actually important to us.

There will always be things to be done. We will never be able to get on top.

We will never complete the game of task completion. We already lost that game.

“You understand that the plane has already crashed - it crashed for you the moment you were born.” - Oliver Burkeman

We can never fix nor do everything.

So maybe, just maybe, sit back a little. Take a deep breath, take in your surroundings, and forget about all the endless jobs you feel you “need to do”.

Because we don’t need to do anything.

Furthermore, we will never have full control.

We will never complete the endless list.

So with that thought in mind, we should all rest a little easier and spend more time on those things that are actually meaningful for us.

Anyway, that’s one more thing off my to-do list! ;-)

Until next time.

With Love, Nick.

Share

Subscribe now

Leave a comment

As an Englishman it still feels raw today.

Despite my own emotions there was a clear difference between the two teams yesterday.

For the last 35 minutes the tension in the game was high.

The pressure was intense.

England had just taken the lead.

You would think they would now be filled with confidence and composure.

That Argentina would be panicking and on the ropes rushing to get back in the game.

The stakes couldn’t have been higher to book a place in the World Cup final.

It would have made complete sense to lose some composure and control.

The time was running out.

However, what happened was very different.

Argentina showed a level of maturity only the most successful teams show.

They showed high levels of emotional intelligence, resilience, patience and control.

Total calmness.

They demonstrated it on another level.

They adopted a completely different mindset.

England gave them an opportunity to attack after changing their set up to defence after scoring the goal.

The type of defence most teams in the would struggle to break down.

The panic of trailing, the emotion of the occasion, the fear of failure all waiting to run the mental show which they so often do, having a major effect on performance.

But last night watching Messi and the majority of the Argentine side it was something special witnessing how calm they remained despite being a goal down.

All the way up until the 85th minute.

Still a goal down, yet they didn’t panic whatsoever.

All the way until they got the second goal a few minutes later they were so calm and collected.

They carried on playing their way.

England simply couldn’t handle the pressure.

They became more and more stressed.

The panic was intensifying,

This made them retreat further.

It made their decisions poorer.

They were on the ropes.

Argentina pushed further forward knowing it was just a matter of time.

They were an example of how to handle stress under pressure through staying calm, maintaining control, and knowing that opportunity will come.

Belief, patience and calmness under high tension situations.

England were looking at the clock, they were stressed, and it showed.

When it really mattered, they lost some belief.

They lost control, composure and therefore the ability to think clearly like they did in the first half.

Their mindset had changed completely.

They simply didn’t know how to manage the pressure of the situation - albeit a great one, being in the lead.

They became more afraid to lose than to go and win the game.

The Argentines were the opposite.

They smelt blood and upped the tempo yet they never lost their composure with the ball.

They knew if they kept level headed and bided their time the opportunities would come.

They maintained this belief deep into the game.

In the end the opportunities did come and two crucial ones won them the game.

There’s a huge lesson there for England moving forward.

But there is one for outside of football altogether.

That staying calm and composed in the most pressured, stressful of moments will give us the tools we need.

If we stay in control of our emotions we maintain power.

Our thinking stays sharp and we make much better decisions.

We remain calm and see solutions.

By building and maintaining this mindset we can overcome and win just about anything.

Argentina were the perfect example of this last night.

See you in four years with some lessons learned!

Nick.

Share

Subscribe now

Leave a comment

I was standing on stage in front of paying people.

A full theatre audience that expected me to perform.

And I froze.

It kept on happening.

It would happen three or four times a year.

Desperately trying to find the words yet nothing arrived.

Literally speechless.

Fortunately for me, and for the audience, this was all in my head.

It was an recurring dream I had for over a decade.

My biggest fear was being on stage and going completely blank.

So much so I believed it whilst I was awake.

I would be in the dressing room and in the wings with my heart racing.

Picturing myself freezing.

This didn’t feel like excitement, but pure fear.

That’s how I framed it.

I didn’t then know that these two emotions are very much the same.

That fear was at forefront of my mind every time I was about to step on stage.

But then, interestingly, it never actually happened.

Years of being speaking in front of people and I never once went blank.

It happened countless times in my imagination but never in reality.

Not in the real world.

Only ever in my head.

The reality never aligned with the imagination.

This goes far beyond the stage of course.

This feeling of fear carried over into nearly every part of my life.

I had what we would now call the “imposter syndrome”.

It made me feel I wasn’t ready, prepared or qualified.

I believed it.

And I believed it to be a problem.

But interestingly I was actually improving.

My performances were getting better.

I was given a handful of lead roles that really pushed me.

I drove myself to rehearse, practice and learn my lines faster than anyone else.

To be completely prepared.

I didn’t want to freeze.

I didn’t want to fail.

I didn’t see it at the time but I was making real progress.

Imposter syndrome was actually my ally, not enemy.

It was bringing out the best in me.

It was pushing me out of my comfort zone.

It was making me do the work.

Action is always available.

Despite how we feel.

We can feel completely out of our depth and yet still take action.

We can feel unqualified or unworthy and still move.

Wherever that feeling comes from.

We may never know.

That voice, that doubt, that imposter might stick around.

But it isn’t there to stop us.

It’s there to make us better.

It’s evidence that we are moving forwards.

Keep acting.

Thanks for reading.

Nick

Share

Subscribe now

Leave a comment

I’ve been thinking a lot recently.

About regret, about mistakes, about making wrong decisions.

Scrutinising the past.

Many of us sell ourselves this type of story continuously.

I know I have.

What does making a “wrong decision” even mean?

Wrong at what time?

What was the alternative?

What if it actually would have turned out to have been a lot worse?

What if it was a blessing in disguise that we still cannot recognise?

I’ve learned that our idea of regret is fundamentally backwards.

Because it discounts our life now along with everything and everyone we have in it.

I have found myself regretting certain past choices.

A career path I should have continued.

A direction I should have taken.

An opportunity I should have said yes to.

But there is a problem with regretting all that.

The things I love most in my life now wouldn’t have existed.

If I had taken those decisions.

If things went the way I wish they did at the time.

For example I had the chance to climb high up the corporate ladder in my early twenties.

I was recently thinking of all that money I could have made, all the titles I could be holding. The financial stability I would have had. The people I would have impressed.

But by doing so I was completely dismissing all the life enhancing projects and opportunities that not going down that route has given me.

We regret a decision and simultaneously forget that same decision paved a path for a positive outcome we have in our life now.

Therefore regret when seen negatively doesn’t make much sense.

Yet most of us still do it anyway.

Another example is the the person I met and now share my life with.

I certainly wouldn’t have met her if I had taken the other route.

The same one I was regretting for a while.

She is one of the best things that has happened to me.

Or another, having the opportunity to start a life abroad.

Likewise it wouldn’t have happened.

Had I chosen a path, which I have since regretted.

Go figure.

There are many examples.

You will have plenty, if you look for them.

Many things we can be incredibly grateful for.

So what makes us think today will be any different when looking back 10 years from now?

Today’s regrets.

In a decade or two from now we may be very thankful for them, despite not being able to see so today.

So it’s time we reframe regret and the past.

Because those incredible things we have in front of us now are only here because of what happened (or didn’t happen) before.

Regret can be powerful and very effective when used well.

It gives us great insight and provide lessons we can learn and utilise.

But to live in it?

Or to judge or blame ourselves?

We are robbing ourselves.

If we let go of regretting what we “could” or “should” have done life starts feeling pretty rich.

The past was meant to happen the way it did, because it did.

All the wonderful things you have now is a result of that.

Regret well.

Thanks for reading.

With Love, Nick x

PS: A huge thank you to everyone who came to An Evening With Running Minds on Tuesday evening in Madrid. A very special event with happiness scientist who gave an incredible talk on finding purpose and meaning.

More to come on this!

Share

Subscribe now

Leave a comment

How do you face the unpredictability and uncertainty of life?

“It helps if you can realise that this part of life when you don’t know what’s coming is often the part that people look back on with the greatest affection.”

I came across this quote from Ann Patchett very recently.

It reminded me just how much time and energy we are willing to sacrifice in order to find certainty.

To gain control. To steer the ship exactly the direction we want.

To avoid the icebergs and to ensure smooth sailing into the sunset.

To ensure we are on the path we are supposed to be on.

But this isn’t how life will ever work.

And deep down we know this.

Because it wouldn’t make sense otherwise.

Moreover it certainly wouldn’t be much fun!

Yet the urge to control each part of our destiny remains strong.

Take a moment and look back over your own life.

How many of the great memories and stories you have have come from moments you could have never anticipated?

That you never expected or knew would happen?

I bet nearly all of them.

Those moments of joy, elation and breakthroughs.

We had no certainty over them or even any idea they could indeed happen in the first place.

If we did have everything planned out in advance with 100% certainty of how they would all go, would there be much joy in living?

They certainly wouldn’t make for a good story around the fire.

Most people avoid fortune tellers for this very reason.

We don’t want to know everything.

Partly to not know if something bad will happen.

But mostly because it goes against one of our key human needs - uncertainty.

It’s the fun of the rollercoaster ride with the turns you haven’t yet experienced.

It’s the movie you pay for where you don’t know the ending.

It’s the holiday destination you book where you’ve never visited before.

It’s the restaurant you try where you don’t yet know what the food will taste like.

It’s going to watch your favourite and utterly inconsistent sports team.

The buzz comes from knowing we don’t know what will happen.

We actually love novelty.

Therefore we can apply this to all the uncertainty in our lives.

The stress it is causing us right now is mostly a complete waste of time.

It simply robs us of the present moment.

Embracing the beauty of this very uncertain life.

In fact that is what makes it so beautiful and unique.

So think back over those fondest memories you have.

When you didn’t have a clue what was coming next.

When the things you worried most about turned out to be blessings.

Whatever was coming next was already coming.

Save yourself the worry and the stress.

Take one hand off the steering wheel.

Live in the unknown a little more.

It will work out the way it will work out.

And you’ll most likely look back on those times with the greatest affection.

Thanks for reading.

Love. Nick.

Photo: A very uncertain period in my life in 2019. I took some time to travel to Canada and the States. I stressed a lot about my future. Looking back it was one of the greatest times of my life.

PS: Running Minds event on the 16th June is now sold out! Thank you to everyone who has signed up. If not you can join the waiting list.

Leave a comment

Share

Subscribe now

Leaders, CEOs, directors, and every type of executive all passed through the gym doors.

Some of them just to use the sauna!

But mostly to release some of the stress of the day. Or to pump themselves up before heading into it.

I was a fitness coach for BP (British Petroleum) at their HQ site in London and was fortunate enough to work with some leading professionals.

At first (as a freshly trained 18 or 19 year old) I was overwhelmed.

Their status and experience were on a completely different level to what I had ever been around.

My job was to start conversations, offer support on techniques and help them develop a fitness plan.

I ended up working with many as their personal trainer.

£15 an hour I made, with the gym taking the much bigger portion. But I didn’t care, I loved it.

The exercises were just the tip of the iceberg.

The gym and fitness were my home, and they still are today.

I went into sessions with clients focused on producing the best plan and giving the best advice I could on increasing strength and fitness.

It was the best job.

But what I loved the most was what I could learn from the top professionals and high performers leading such an enormous company.

I also had a curiosity to know about their habits and why they visit the gym.

This is what I learned.

They weren’t there to look better.

They didn’t come to develop and show off a six-pack.

They had little interest in being able to flex their muscles in the office or at the beach. (Sure, these were bonuses some did achieve!)

But the sole reason they showed up consistently in the gym was to perform better.

Not perform the workouts. But to perform in their work and for their teams.

More significantly to perform for their families, their partners or their kids.

This, at the time, fascinated me.

I was only interested in flexing my muscles at the beach!!

What they wanted, what they needed wasn’t showy.

It was energy. Then it was clarity, presence, focus. To perform better day in and day out, under relentless demands.

Not just in the office. But in every part of their lives.

I remember Jake, a COO saying to me: “If I’m not any good for me, how will I ever be any for anyone else? I have to show up, and well”.

Another senior director when I asked her why she works out so consistently, shared “I have no choice. If my energy and focus aren’t on point I don’t stand a chance of leading a 50 person team, and then looking after two kids.

Being on the gym floor was the best schooling I ever had.

My foundation as a coach hasn’t changed much since those early days in the gym.

Nowadays coaching effective communication and public speaking I have seen how these two areas completely align.

I use so many of the tools on the stage as I did in the gym.

You cannot command a room, deliver a powerful keynote, inspire a team or have a meaningful conversation if your battery is completely empty.

If you’re physically not prepared, you won’t be mentally either.

The first thing we always start with in a session is an energy check.

Because if they are communicating without it nothing else matters much.

Presence, calmness, confidence, delivery.

They all exist through energy.

Here is what I’ve learned through all of this.

In any area of life, if we want to show up as our best (or somewhere close) for our work, our community and our loved ones - we have to put ourselves first.

Through investing into our body and into our energy.

It all starts with a quality level of fitness.

Good fitness creates an abundance of energy.

It creates clarity, focus, productivity, output.

It’s the direct path to better outcomes in every part of life.

Moreover, it is a direct path to a far more joyful life.

So the first thing I tell anyone looking to improve as a communicator, a performer, a partner - or who simply wants to get a little better in any domain of their life - make fitness your priority.

Everything else is downstream.

Create energy.

Create impact.

Thanks for reading.

With Love. Nick x

PS: Running Minds is back with its next signature event in June!

The subject is on finding purpose with scientist and profesor of happiness .

If you’re in Madrid you will not want to miss this one! Get your ticket now.

Share

Subscribe now

Leave a comment

Here is a simple formula I stumbled upon to make everything a little lighter in life.

The easiest way to oneshot your happiness, career, dating, charisma and health at the same time is moving from resting serious face to resting smile face. Unclench. It costs $0. Life is one big smile-to-frown ratio. -

This feels so simple yet most of us don’t think to “unclench” ourselves.

Never mind to then actually allow ourselves to do so.

Often because we don’t realise we carry so much tension in the first place.

In our face, jaw, neck, shoulders, chest and beyond.

Everything becomes an added weight.

Most of us walk around carrying this added tension.

Mentally and physically.

I have noticed this with many professionals when speaking in public.

They take the stage, or stand up to present their idea or pitch across from a group, and they are overcome with tension.

The body that is causing most of this.

It creates nervousness in the mind.

Mental blocks arrive.

Their face freezes, neck and shoulders become tense, breath gets shallow and hands lock together or hide in pockets.

I see this time and time again.

The secret (if ever there was just one) to help overcome this tension and to reduce nerves, is to send a key signal to the nerve system.

A signal that you are calm, composed and prepared for what is to come.

Even if you’re not.

That begins with the most important step: to smile.

Even if it doesn’t feel natural (it won’t if you feel nervous).

But it starts programming your brain that you are safe and in control.

It sends that all important message.

Then the breath and the body start to follow suit.

Bringing a calmness to our whole state.

The body then starts to release its tension.

This allows the chest to contract and expand more profoundly.

Changing the whole nervous system, our state and ultimately our performance level.

So next time you have to present or have an important conversation, keep this in mind.

Try incorporating more “resting smile face” and less “resting frown face” into your speaking engagements - and moreover into your everyday life.

It soon becomes a habit.

Everything becomes brighter.

Thanks for reading.

With Love, Nick. x

PS. If you would like a coaching session to assess your needs for effective public speaking for you or for your business you can book yours here, or learn more at my website.

Share

Subscribe now

Leave a comment

I've been facing a problem.

Things felt uncertain.

I was wishing they were different.

I was frustrated and found myself wanting more.

Then I remembered something critical to shift me out thinking that way.

Everything I have right now I only dreamed about some years ago.

Including the problems of today.

You see, we move the goalposts in our life.

The life and many of the things we could only dream about several years ago, many of us are living or have right now.

But what we do, what the brain likes to do, is move the needle to what is now good enough or acceptable.

What happens is that once we obtain a life or a situation that we could only wish for not so long ago, we move the goalposts.

Suddenly the life we're now living doesn’t feel quite good enough anymore.

We shift our attention to the next thing we need or want.

If or when, we tell ourselves, we have that thing, all will be well again.

Why do we do this?

Because we create the idea that the next thing or certain circumstance will give us the feelings that we want.

We believe they will give us the happiness and the joy we crave.

Or remove all the stress.

So when we have that next thing, or when we achieve that goal, or when our circumstances change, we will then feel them or have a reason to do so.

But this is a lie.

And we know it.

Because we have told ourselves this same story many times before.

We seek and find our ‘today’ problems.

Without remembering a little while back we would have traded plenty to be exactly where we are now.

We start to believe a lie that we couldn’t possibly have much to be happy or joyful about right now.

Really? Like we need an excuse to be so.

Spoiler alert: We don’t.

The truth is most of us do have so much right in front of us that is well worth celebrating.

That is well worth being grateful for.

Things that we once only hoped or dreamed for.

Things also that we may not have again and certainly won’t have forever.

Those that are available to us today.

These are the days.

Not “those were the days” or “that will be the day…”

No, “these are the days”.

Not then, not in the future, right now.

Something to keep in mind.

Thank you for reading.

With Love, Nick.

PS: I have five remaining coaching calls going for 50% until This Sunday 26th April. Book yours here

Subscribe now

Share The Process

Leave a comment

Going solo can be tough.

I have often confused working for myself with freedom.

Your own schedule and your own decisions, all requiring little or no input from anyone else.

Not being controlled or demanded from elsewhere.

Being your own boss.

Doing things your way.

Getting to live life on your terms.

(Whatever that actually means)

But here is the thing.

It comes at a price.

It has for me.

Deep down I’ve missed and craved community.

I started my own wellbeing group “Running Minds” for this very reason.

To bring people and professionals together to share, to support and inspire one another.

But I learned this was just the tipping point for me.

It made me realise what I have been missing.

Being a freelancer, small business owner, solopreneur, or whatever you want to call it, comes with plenty of challenges and downsides.

Everyone knows it must be challenging but not many know about the loneliness that comes with it.

Unless they have done it themselves.

The feeling of managing every moving part of the business wheel yourself often feels like you’re running into the wind.

The feeling of being accountable only to yourself.

The feeling of the wins and the losses only shared with yourself.

I worked in the corporate world throughout most of my 20’s.

Working 8 until 5, plus a commute.

Much of that time it paid well and offered good benefits.

On finishing university, like everyone else, it felt the most sensible and practical next step for me.

To be earning consistently and with opportunities to keep earning more.

To be on the ladder.

To put on a suit, get a company car and be in the race.

It was fun for a while.

Until it wasn’t.

I changed jobs a few times and did quite well financially but I remember vividly thinking this wasn’t for me in the long term.

But maybe I was just naïve.

I did everything I could to start a side business to escape the boardroom and office desk.

But now almost a decade later I’m seeing things differently.

I’m starting to miss parts of it.

Perhaps I have been too harsh on the 8-5 corporate world.

Not necessarily the work itself but what it can offer you.

A team, colleagues, some community.

A structure and routine.

Knowing when you’ll start and when you’ll finish (most of the time).

Earning a regular salary with some bonuses and the odd pat on the back thrown in.

I had all of the above.

Since stepping out of the corporate world I have built a wall between myself and it.

Trying to do all I can to avoid going back and working for someone else.

But that has been ignorance.

I haven’t considered both sides fairly.

There is no doubt that there is much upside in working for yourself.

But I would be lying all these years in, if I wasn’t honest about the downsides.

And ignoring the upsides of working with a company.

Ignoring the trade-off and price that is paid.

A price, quite frankly, that I hardly hear anyone talk about.

The feeling of loneliness.

Going it alone.

The lack of accountability from elsewhere.

No one to share the wins with, or to lean on during the losses.

Motivating yourself constantly.

No one knowing if you fall completely flat on your face.

Then on top all the uncertainty of income, clients, taxes and the future of the business itself.

I am writing this from a place of being somewhere in the middle right now.

Assessing my own options.

Not pretending I have it all figured out.

Still questioning parts of myself.

Still figuring out where to pour all my energy.

Into my business or into a different direction.

Perhaps towards one I knew well before.

The feeling of giving up is hard.

Stepping out of something I’ve built with love.

But at the same time being ignorant is hard.

Maybe it’s not giving up at all.

Maybe it’s looking ahead with a bigger vision to have a greater impact.

Maybe it’s a shorter term change for a longer term gain.

Or maybe it’s holding on just a little longer.

Maybe it’s burning the boats.

I don’t have the answers.

Here I am after all these years working for myself and all the fears and uncertainty are still there.

But now the loneliness feels like it weighs more.

Who knows what will come next.

But what I do know is to keep an open mind and to stay optimistic.

That has always served me well.

Trust that the right way will present itself.

Maybe you’re in a similar situation.

Trying to figure out your own path either as a business owner or working in a company.

Either way I am super curious to hear from you.

What is your story?

What has worked for you?

What advice would you share?

Share a comment or message me directly. I would love to hear from you.

Thank you for reading.

With Love, Nick x

Photo of a recent Running Minds meet up.

Grateful for this community! :)

Share

Subscribe now

Leave a comment

If I offered to give you 10 million pounds right now, would you take it?

Except there is one catch.

You won’t wake up tomorrow.

Now what would you say?

Would you still want to take the money?

I’m pretty sure I know the answer.

Think about this for a second.

It means that today is worth more than 10 million pounds to you.

That’s some value on living.

Yet why are you stuck in your head, stressed, worried, unable to be present?

Or maybe you’re not.

Perhaps you’re just feeling listless, lethargic and lackadaisical.

We are human, we will all feel these feelings from time to time.

Feeling them isn’t the problem.

But staying in them and giving them power, is.

But when we truly capture the significance and value of today it’s very difficult to stay stuck in those states.

Because today is worth so much.

An amount of money most dream of isn’t worth nearly as much as this current day.

Yet often we let life just pass us by.

We sit and wait for a reason to feel alive and to make it count.

But we already have the most profound reason.

We are alive.

Right now. Today.

That is incredibly valuable.

More than any life changing amount of money.

So what are you going to do with it?

Make it count.

With Love. Nick

Share

Subscribe now

Leave a comment

In running, there is a phenomenon called the “second wind.”

When you are at the wall. When you feel completely empty and think you are entirely done.

But if you can just hold on, something happens.

A surge of energy arrives from seemingly nowhere.

The second wind.

The challenge is you never know when it will show up.

But, it always does. If we don’t quit.

It makes us feel unstoppable.

Life is much the same.

Uncertainty is deeply uncomfortable, even for the highest achievers and performers.

But the difference is they see it differently. They learn to dance in it.

They know the suffering and the discomfort of the unknown will pass.

Clarity will appear.

They have been there time and time again.

They realise that the other side can be magnificent.

But most people won’t experience this because they simply don’t wait long enough. The discomfort is too heavy in the moment. The release of quitting too tempting.

The towel is waiting eagerly to be thrown.

No-one would say a thing. It feels the obvious option. An easy way out.

Keeping going when things are uncertain isn’t easy. But it isn’t supposed to be.

But as humans, we evolved to strive and to push ourselves. We were made to handle the unknown.

Quitting early comes with a heavy price: never knowing what we were truly capable of.

Living with that quiet, niggling feeling of “what if I had just held on a little longer?”

The fact that something is hard is so for a reason. That is how it is supposed to be.

No growth ever came from the comfort zone.

The most challenging moments in our lives don’t last.

The second wind always comes.

But we must hold on.

We must keep moving.

We must build and maintain momentum.

Then that second wind will appear. It always happens.

There is no greater feeling than knowing we didn’t give up on ourselves.

I try to remind myself of this during uncertain or uncomfortable seasons of my life.

You are running your own race.

The pace doesn’t matter.

Not giving up does.

Love, Nick

Share

Subscribe now

Leave a comment

That’s what I thought I’d think of myself.

Running from Liverpool to London in a week.

The equivalent of 9 marathons in 7 days.

The truth is before taking on the run of around 365 kilometres down to the capital, I had some mejor fear and doubt.

I was overwhelmed by the fear of failing or not being capable.

It was unknown.

Nobody (that I could find) had ever run this route before.

The imposter syndrome that that person could possibly be me was in full force.

When I was younger I used to carry a lot of self doubt, whilst being very ambitious at the same time.

This is an interesting cocktail, which I’m sure some others might relate with.

I was always very driven yet was scared of risk.

Scared of failing and scared of what others thought of me.

I won’t list all the many examples but this challenge to run down the UK was certainly a good one.

I actually had the idea to do this run around 10 years earlier.

But I didn’t take the jump until all these years later, until August of 2024.

This challenge was a dream of mine.

To honour my dad’s life after he died from brain tumours.

To raise as much awareness & money for the Brain Tumour Research charity that supported our family since day one.

In the years after his death in December 2011, I did various other charity events instead.

But this was the biggie that was deep inside me.

I knew I was putting it off.

The quiet excuses that we convince ourselves “make sense”.

My dad was from Liverpool, my mum from London. I wanted to connect the two places after he died.

My dad (begrudgingly) moved down to the capital to be with my mum.

The truth was he was a Liverpool man through and through and had no interest in London.

Being from the Liverpool, in the north, this isn’t uncommon.

“They won’t say hello to you much down here” he jokingly used to tell me.

“They certainly won’t invite you in for a cup of tea!”

If you are from or know the UK well, you will understand!

Anyway I digress…

When I started the run from Liverpool, the logistics, being on my own, the navigation, the impact on my body, and all the uncertainty still existed.

But the fear didn’t.

Once I had committed and taken the action I wasn’t fearful anymore.

I got lost getting out of Liverpool so there was another moment, but then gone!

I couldn’t believe I put it off for so long.

But that’s what fear (and overthinking) can do to you.

It was all in my head and the only thing I needed to do was to commit and take action on it.

As they say, the best time to start was then, the second best time to start is now.

That being said, I believe in fate and that the timing ended up being perfect.

Everything fell into place.

It was an experience I’ll never forget.

The support I got, extraordinary.

The personal journey it took me on, life changing.

So what is the message here and what did the takeaway from this?

It taught me how the things we really want from life are waiting on the other side of fear.

It reminded me that everything really worth doing takes courage.

That not doing is often a far bigger risk in life than doing.

That if we tell ourselves we can or we can’t, we’re most probably right.

And moreover, if we fail, so what? That’s where all the feedback and learning is.

You win or you learn.

That’s the journey.

I understand now that if fear or doubt is standing in the way it’s a signal to move towards it, not back away.

To lean into discomfort, not to avoid it.

That’s where the magic happens.

Thank you for reading.

You can read about the run here

With Love, Nick.

If you’d like to chat about how I can support you or simply share something holding you back, you can book a free 30 minute call with me here

Share

Leave a comment

We often seek out the tricks and tips when it comes to improving any skill.

The same is true for speaking in public.

Many will look for the “hacks” to become better on stage or whilst communicating.

But these are not the right thing to look for.

At least not to start with.

There are of course plenty of so-called hacks, alongside tricks and tips to speak better in public. Many of which are important and certainly have their place.

But I’m far more interested in the preparation and improvement that really makes the difference, over the long term.

The most important performance enhancer that no-one talks about.

How we take care of ourselves.

I spent almost two decades coaching health and fitness.

I worked with executives where consistent high performance in their work was crucial.

None of them quit our training when they saw the staggering impact it had on their performance levels in the office.

Quality health is vital when it comes to our performance.

That might sound obvious, right?

But we don’t think about our health and fitness levels in respect to communication or public speaking.

Something we will all have to do at one stage or another (pun intended)!

They are also absolutely aligned.

I have been fortunate enough to have now worked with several leading CEO’s and founders.

All of them have to speak in public regularly.

All of them want to improve it.

They often ask me “how can I use my body and voice better on stage?”

“How can I improve my stage presence and or my delivery?”

Ultimately how they can impact and influence others better.

All valid questions.

But some often miss the bigger picture.

The most important factors.

The critical performance factors that really matter.

Those that lead to better performance and deeper connection when speaking.

Energy, presence, focus and control.

These are what really count, and they cannot be built through hacks.

They are created through building a foundation of a sound body and mind.

These are built through taking care of ourselves every day.

Prioritising our health.

Over years and decades.

This is the best preparation and performance enhancer.

Quality sleep. Regular exercise. Hydration. Balanced nutrition.

These four key factors move the needle far more than anything else when it comes to our performance levels over the long term.

They have the most direct influence.

Building our confidence and increasing our presence.

Managing our anxiety and controlling our stress response.

All critical in any high performing situation.

Health is the bedrock.

The table everything else sits on.

The foundation to perform better as a public speaker, communicator and furthermore, in any part of life.

All the hacks, tricks and tips are built on top.

If you want to improve your ability and performance look first at how you’re looking after your health.

If you want like to discuss your own performance and how I could help you, you can book a call with me here.

Or visit my website for my information on my work.

Thank you for reading.

Nick x

Subscribe now

Share

Leave a comment

Energy is our superpower.

It is infinite.

It has no limits.

It’s our greatest asset as human beings.

But there is something we still misunderstand about it.

We think of energy as something we have or we don’t have.

But here is the truth.

Energy is not just something we have, it’s something we do.

Imagine yourself in this situation for a minute.

You’ve had an exceptionally busy day at work.

You faced problem after problem, constant stressful moments and had no time to stop.

Several hours later you finally get home.

You see the comfy sofa, you head straight for it to lie down.

No time to eat, barely time to breathe all day.

You feel completely zapped.

All you want to do is turn off the world, do nothing, and speak with no one.

You tell yourself you have no energy left.

Then your phone rings.

It’s your best friend on the other line.

You think for a second about answering as you’re so exhausted.

You know she would understand.

But you decide to pick up.

Just as you’re about to ask her if you can chat another time, she drops a news bomb.

She cannot contain her excitement as she tells you she just got engaged!

Her emotions are high and she expresses how deeply happy she is.

What happens next?

Do you still feel the same?

Do you still have no energy?

Do you still want to chat another time?

Of course not.

Your energy explodes.

It’s suddenly sky high and you are now more present than you’ve been all day.

(If you are actually happy on hearing this news of course!)

So what happened?

Your energy changed instantly.

There was a stimulus that created immense energy in your body.

Five seconds ago you felt exhausted with zero energy after that tough day.

Now you feel like you could talk for hours.

Think about that example for a moment.

Now think back to a similar moment you’ve experienced where something completely shifted your energy in a flash.

What I’m getting at here is our energy can change instantly.

It can take an external stimuli but also an internal one.

Energy can be accessed at any moment.

When it comes to public speaking or connecting with other people our energy is by far the most important aspect.

Perhaps the only important one.

Without energy we cannot connect, never mind impact or inspire others.

We can have the best and most life changing story to share but if we have no energy it won’t land.

Energy isn’t about jumping or running around like crazy.

It is not shouting loudly or being the centre of attention.

It is not rushing around or moving aimlessly.

It is presence.

Is is being fully in the moment.

Not just how we talk but how we listen.

Not just how we move but how we stand.

It is becoming truly present with yourself and with others.

It is always available even when it feels unavailable.

Because it is an action. We do energy.

How many times have you dreaded doing a workout yet as soon as you start you feel completely different?

You thought you had no energy and now suddenly you are completely energized.

When connecting with our people and our audience we have to show up with intention.

We have to be present with ourselves and with them.

That is how we truly connect.

We must choose how we want to show up.

Our energy is contagious.

Other people and our audience feed off it.

All the other tools and aspects of public speaking, communicating or anything else for that matter, come later.

But they aren’t relevant if we don’t create our energy first.

Focus on the energy you want to show up with.

Because that will make or break any impression or connection.

Do it.

Share

Thank you for reading,

With Love, Nick x

PS: Thank you to everyone who came to “An Evening With Running Minds” last week in Madrid for Malin Garemo’s talk “The Thinking Athlete”.

It was a fantastic evening jam-packed with practical insights around the gut, brain, body, resilience, performance and much more!

Watch this space for more events coming soon.

If you have a background, experience or personal story related to health, well-being, business or performance and would be interested in sharing with our community at Running Minds, pelase reach out to me.

A photo from the event with Malin and myself. Her energy was infectious all evening!

Subscribe now

Leave a comment

Hello my friend,

“The only people without problems are in cemeteries. So if you don't have any, you better go on your knees and pray for some. Because problems are a sign of life.” - Norman Vincent Peale

We often see problems as a problem.

We look to get rid or minimise them.

To get out the way of them.

We assume something isn’t right and we must fix it immediately.

We seek the ways to ignore, overcome or quickly remove them.

Plainly speaking, we don’t like having problems.

But I have learned we shouldn’t wish for a problem free life.

Why?

Because one, that will never happen.

Because two, we would actually miss them.

What if we accepted problems as a completely normal part of life?

What if we told ourselves there is nothing to concern ourselves about?

What if we reminded ourselves that they will come and go like the tide.

I realised not too long ago that as soon as I solved all my current problems, more popped up.

I would get distracted, worried or stressed, yet the problem itself wouldn’t change.

Same problem, just unnecessary strain and stress.

I would often work tirelessly to remove a problem and feel on edge half the day.

Ditto. Problem was the same. My day wasn’t.

Then more problems soon come along either way.

Worrying about having problems is the problem, not the problems themselves.

So, I realised I had to change my mindset around problems.

Wishing for less or no problems wasn’t working.

Stressing over them certainly wasn’t either.

Thinking problems aren’t normal or that something is wrong can cause heavy loads of unnecessary stress that quite frankly doesn’t help a thing.

Because once we have finally solved a problem and feel like we can finally sit down and relax for the day, another one will quickly arise.

Problems are an inevitable part of life.

We can’t control most of them popping up.

How we approach and frame them is something we can.

A problem isn’t the problem. The problem is thinking a problem is a problem.

Of course some are particularly challenging but they are also inevitable at one stage or another.

Some people treat problems like they do their email inbox. The more and quicker they get through all of them, the better.

They finally hit zero and let out a big sigh of relief. They say ‘finally, no more’.

They hit “Inbox zero”.

But guess what happens the very next morning on awakening? A load more email have arrived.

It is a constant cycle and the same is with life and its problems.

For better or for worse.

Without problems there would be no creativity.

There would be no challenges.

There would be little growth.

Barely any intuition required or spontaneity available.

Without problems there would be no life.

So my thinking at the start of a new year is to look at your problems in a completely different way and with fresh perspective.

Wish not for no problems, but to be better at accepting them.

Then becoming better at approaching, overcoming and dealing with them upon their inevitable arrival.

To be stronger and better to take them on once they arise.

Problems will never go away.

This isn’t something to fear.

In fact quite the opposite.

It proves we are alive.

Wishing you a happy new year and that all your problems will be unproblematic.

With love, Nick x

PS: NEW EVENT - NOT TO BE MISSED!

Running Minds is hosting an event on January 21st in Madrid.

We have an amazing guest speaker, Dr. Malin Garemo who will be presenting her talk “The Thinking Athlete: Gut Health, Brain, Movement.”

If you are interesting in learning about the body and mind connection, improving your mental clarity and performance and taking better control and care of your health, you won’t want to miss it! A great way to get 2026 moving in the right direction.

Places are limited. Sign up here !

Share

Subscribe now

Leave a comment

Hello my friend,

I want to take this moment to wish you all a very happy christmas and a fruitful new year.

If you are reading this I also want to thank you for being a part of my journey and for your ongoing support.

2025 has been a huge learning curve and one that has taught me plenty.

For the last several years I have chosen a word for the year.

My word this year was ‘Brave’.

I wanted to move, lead, and live with more courage.

What I have learned the most is that being brave isn’t about taking on big challenges or taking huge risks.

It also isn’t about acting or doing when feeling prepared or ready.

Being brave is about learning to be at peace with uncertainty and having the courage to dance with it.

It is to be present and to take action whilst feeling unsure.

When it feels uneasy or uncomfortable.

“Vulnerability is our most accurate measure of courage.” - Brené Brown

It is about embracing the discomfort of the unknown.

Courage is about letting go of control and trusting we have the tools to face any challenge life throws at us.

It is saying I don’t know.

That we don’t have the map.

That we don’t know the answers.

It is admitting we have no idea which direction we are headed.

It is asking for help.

This is vulnerability.

This is courage.

Being brave is also about being authentic.

To be ourselves without trying to fit in, impress or change who we are just to suit others to make them feel comfortable, at our own expense.

To stay true to ourselves when pulled in different opinions or directions.

As many of us now gain the gift of some more time I’ll be taking it to reflect further on this year, whilst pondering over my word and outlook for 2026.

This festive period I’m sending my love and best wishes to you and to your loved ones.

Be present for them.

Be present for you.

Stay courageous.

With Love. Nick. x

Share

Subscribe now

Leave a comment

Here are a few lessons I’ve learned from 2025.

Yesterday marked a new year of life for me.

By this stage of my life I really thought I’d have it all figured out.

Yet the reality is very different.

Life has its own way and its own say.

And the truth is I still have no idea which direction it is taking me in.

There is so much outside our control.

And it’s always going to be like that.

When that really stuck for me a few years back it was liberating.

Nothing changed yet everything did.

Because of my mindset and attitude towards it.

They are what changed.

I released my grip a little.

I started letting go instead of holding on.

I learned to be more present and appreciate the moments more.

I became at peace with it.

I became excited for it.

I became content not to have all the answers.

I embraced the uncertainty.

One thing I did become certain of is that life is a gift.

And it’s right in front of our eyes.

It is a journey without a finish line.

An adventure without a clear map.

And it’s one I’m glad to still be figuring out.

I know I never will.

I’m excited to see where the journey continues to take me.

That makes me feel alive.

Grateful for another year.

Cheers!

Nick x

Thank you as always for being here and for reading.

You can learn more about me and my work here

Subscribe now

Share

Leave a comment

Hello my friend,

Once upon a time there was a Chinese farmer whose horse ran away. That evening, all of his neighbours came around to commiserate. They said, “We are so sorry to hear your horse has run away. This is most unfortunate.” The farmer said, “Maybe.”

The next day the horse came back bringing seven wild horses with it, and in the evening everybody came back and said, “Oh, isn’t that lucky. What a great turn of events. You now have eight horses!” The farmer again said, “Maybe.”

The following day his son tried to break one of the horses, and while riding it, he was thrown and broke his leg. The neighbours then said, “Oh dear, that’s too bad,” and the farmer responded, “Maybe.”

The next day the conscription officers came around to conscript people into the army, and they rejected his son because he had a broken leg. Again all the neighbours came around and said, “Isn’t that great!” Again, he said, “Maybe.”

“The whole process of nature is an integrated process of immense complexity, and it’s really impossible to tell whether anything that happens in it is good or bad - because you never know what will be the consequence of the misfortune; or, you never know what will be the consequences of good fortune.” - Alan Watts

The only certain thing in life is uncertainty.

Much of our anxiety, fear and worry arises from external factors.

Circumstances we have little or zero control over.

The instant assumption that something is either good or bad.

Trying to take control of these only makes us suffer.

The message of the story is to grow an acceptance of external events.

Despite how challenging they seem, rarely could we have influenced or changed what happened.

We often have very little or zero control over them.

All the worrying in the world won’t make a difference to the outcome.

Only to the stress and anxiety we cause to ourselves.

They did and will happen anyway.

Not only that but they may indeed work out or be for the best.

The hardest moments may turn out to be a godsend.

We will never know in the moment.

Take a moment to look back over some key moments in your life.

I bet you’ll find that many of the bad events actually turned out for the better, and vice versa.

The story about the farmer is the perfect reminder of releasing our grip on what we cannot control, whilst simultaneously reminding us that we can stay calm, grounded and optimistic despite the uncertainty.

This applies to our self belief and confidence, too.

It must only be built internally and on what we can influence.

What we have control over.

Not the outcomes or external circumstances.

They are not within our control.

If we allow our confidence to be built or broken based on those we will never make real progress.

It certainly won’t be sustainable.

When it comes to finding more peace, fulfilment and joy in our lives the exact same applies.

Focus on what we can control and accept what we cannot.

Life will throw up all sorts of challenges and we won’t be able to control the large majority of them.

The more at ease we are with that, the better life gets.

Not only that but the worst may turn out to be the best.

Maybe.

Thanks for reading.

With Love, Nick x

PS: Looking for public speaking coaching 1 to 1 or in your business? My course is selling for half price until Friday 12th December - link right here

Share

Subscribe now

Leave a comment

Hello my friend,

What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?

This might be the most important question you’ll ever ask yourself.

You can repeat it at any stage of your life.

The actions and decisions we make are based on how we think they will turn out.

What if they are not the right choices?

What if I get them wrong?

What will people say or think of me?

What if all goes tits up?

What if this proves I’m not… (insert your word)

You can add your own questions.

These questions are disguised as fear.

They play out in our minds constantly.

They are often subconscious.

Like a near silent radio in the background that you forget is even on.

They are the very types of questions that steal dreams, hopes and potential.

They start out subtlety and become stronger over time the more we bow to them.

Everything we want is on the other side of fear.

As children this was never a problem for us.

We didn’t even have the language to know what fear was.

We certainly didn’t care about making fools of ourselves or what other people thought.

Just ask your parents, or watch your own children, if you have them.

As we get older we start developing a sense of conformity.

That we must stand in line, stop jumping around, speak up only when told.

This sedates us.

Like a drug we become so used to we don’t even notice the effects any more.

The fear of what others think is what stands in people’s way the most.

It’s the biggest barrier to personal fulfilment and happiness.

But we couldn’t care less about that at one stage.

As kids we were free to dream big and to believe those dreams were in our reach.

But things change as we “grow up”.

We become conditioned to play safe.

We become conditioned to be aware of risk.

We become conditioned to be seen and not heard.

We become conditioned to play the game everyone else is playing.

This is the reason most people never fulfil their hopes or potential.

Never mind the dreams they had.

The dreams they had as a child are seldom carried out.

Nor seldom encouraged.

It’s much easier to stand in line.

It’s much easier to please people.

It’s much easier to avoid risk or challenge.

It’s much easier to stick to what we are told we know.

But the irony is, it will be much harder in the end.

We will be forced to confront ourselves.

The child we were who had hopes we never even tried to fulfil.

Life is short.

No-one is getting out of it alive.

That shouldn’t be depressing, it should be liberating.

No-one will remember if we did or we didn’t in 100 years.

They certainly won’t care.

But we will.

Go live the life you want.

Thank you for reading.

With Love, Nick x

You can learn more about my keynote speaking or coaching on my website here

Share

Subscribe now

Leave a comment

A voicemail left on my parents’ house phone.

I was 15 years old.

I never returned the call.

I felt crippled with fear.

Imposter syndrome was dominating me.

Although I couldn’t name what it was at the time.

I had nailed an audition with a large UK youth theatre group the week previously.

With shows lined up across most major cities in some of the biggest venues it was a hell of an opportunity.

Yet the whole time I was hoping I wouldn’t be offered it.

Because I didn’t want to find myself in a position which I was in right now.

To have to make a decision I didn’t want to make.

With the regret and feeling of shame that would likely follow.

Yet the funny thing was I would always audition and give my all when the pressure was off.

I always wanted to show my best and make a great impression. Yet somewhere deep down it I felt I would fuck up somewhere down the road.

Interesting behaviour which I’ve spent much time thinking over since.

I felt I would be found out and seen as a failure.

I was scared to fail yet I was failing to take the chance to fail in the first place.

I was trapped in a mindset that was so worried of not being good enough.

So scared of failure. I stayed still.

The irony was that this made me feel like the very thing I was trying to avoid.

I remember that phone call like yesterday.

In some ways it has haunted me ever since.

It could have been an incredible opportunity that would have lifted off an acting career.

I have struggled to forgive myself sometimes.

It hurts seeing myself in hindsight.

So much ability yet often so little faith in myself.

I have worked hard on that for two decades since and I found a way out.

I don’t feel that way any more.

Am I still scared of being found out?

Do I still have imposter syndrome?

Yes, but far less.

Actually I’ve learned that these are signs of stretching ourselves and signals of growth.

With that in mind, it doesn’t stop me when it’s there.

I don’t let it get in my way like I once did.

As I sit here writing this I am a successful failed actor, with the what could have been narrative once again raising its ugly head.

Of course, it’s not too late.

I could act again.

Maybe I will someday.

I still love acting.

I love what it gave me.

I love what I could give of myself to it.

I don’t still regret not “making it” as an actor but I do regret not believing enough in myself.

I had some weird pressure on me to be the next “thing” in the local area.

It was a small area.

Although still, a town on the edge of south west London, a decent pool.

I was told by many directors I had to pursue becoming a professional actor.

Like I owed it to myself or I owed it to them.

Maybe in some way that pressure is something that held me down rather than raised me up.

I don’t know.

It wasn’t just about that phone call.

It was about years of not taking chances.

Not having enough courage or faith in myself.

I have learned a fair bit since then.

Firstly, people don’t think about us nearly as much as we think.

It’s not like we build up in our heads. Or at least like I did in mine.

When we realise this it is liberating.

Secondly, we cannot learn or grow a jot without being comfortable with failure.

It’s non-negotiable if we want to better ourselves or be successful in anything.

It’s actually where all the magic happens.

Those lessons from my younger days have proven invaluable.

I used them and continue to do so to my advantage.

I am not nearly as scared of failing, taking risks or looking silly like I once was.

But I still see many people living that way now.

People I know. People I love.

Some can’t or won’t escape it.

Some felt just like I did not that many years back.

But I now know something with absolute certainty.

We will be more disappointed by the things we didn’t do than by the ones we did.

At the end of our lives we will only regret those chances we didn’t take.

Thanks for reading.

Nick x

Share

Subscribe now

Leave a comment